and if you did all those things, so what? you made a miracle out of me, you made me start believing in people again, you made me trust again. you said you were afraid of deceiving me. you won't, because all the stuff you do, al the mistakes you made, you deserve them. you were (an still are) so badly harmed by many, well, people, but that was no human at all. and if you needed or wanted to distract from that, you were in your rigths.
I told you I didn't find the words to tell you what I thought. Not exactly. Here's what I think. it's most likely I couldn't find a way to tell you these words, until now, and only this way.
I feel like the "nobody's home" girl again. I'm pathetic. fuck, if I could, I'd grab a flight right now and go after you. but you asked me, no, you made me promise I wouldn't. and so I won't.
you know me better. of course I'll make an effort at school, and of course I'll take care of those little girls. but fuck! you gave me so much of yourself that I can't just let it vanish! I don't want you to fade away.
won't you be there for me anymore? won't you be there when I'm the one who has to talk? won't you be there when I'm the one who's crying?
I swear I didn't have these words last night, I just found them inside of me. and I just felt like writing. I hope you read it someday, and I hope you NEVER; EVER FORGET THAT I AM HERE.
